It could have been worse. When I realised these were proper dizzy spells that would just not go away I thought The doctor would diagnose Labrynthitis. Honestly, my husband does a very good David Bowie impression, my life would have been unbearable!
But no, it was just vertigo. No point in telling them I'm not afraid of Heights. The Physicians Assistant printed off some diagrams of the ear to help explain slowly and carefully to me in her whispered Eastern European accents ( lovely they are too) that er... something is unbalanced behind my ears. Yes , yes it could be connected to my infected tooth... or a virus or ... we don't know.
There was only one cure and it was exercise! She searched Google for them and found a diagram of a man closing his eyes. turning his head 45 degrees and lying down on his side, then up again and down on the other side. BRILLIANT! lying down! that's my kind of exercise. Got to do them 3 times a day? No problemo, I may even bring out an exercise DVD ( chortle, chortle...ohh dizzy spell etc.)
These exercises will make you feel worse, make you feel sick.
One thing, can I drive?
No you will be a dangerous driver.
Oh...
Another thing, I'm a drama teacher. That's ok right?
No you cannot be responsible for children.
I decide to refrain mentioning my own children and ask can I have a doctor's note
No , The law of this country says you self certificate for a week, if you are still bad, come back. Also have three points of support. one, two ( bashes legs) three ( flourishes arm) If you are still dizzy and sick come back.
I don't go to look round ANY schools for their Open Evenings or Open days. Daddy becomes Taxi driver no1, Suddenly I can see that he thinks our Kids do TOO MUCH.
At the weekend my tooth flares up again, despite my having finished my antibiotics and not touched alcohol all week, because I thought they would be more effective. Monda,y I return to dentist for major antibiotics, she doesn't think the tooth has anything to do with my vertigo.
I ring the doctors' surgery to speak to the Physician's Assistant.
She's no longer with us.
What? When did that happen?
I am told to ring tomorrow morning and the doctor will call me back. I leave it til Weds, incase I get better. I don't. I call and have to insist someone call me back. The doctor rings me back about an hour and a half later and asks about it. I tell her I am doing the exercises.
We can prescribe you a course of tablets, 5 days. Don't drive. I'll give you a note for work for another week. Come back if you aren't better.
Better make the appointment now, I think , just in case. Why didn't I get tablets last week?
This week I did borrow a stick from my father in law. I had to explain to everyone that I hadn't hurt my foot AS WELL, but its just to stop me falling over.Now no longer have to use eldest child as a crutch. I think I may have started a new trend , all the mummies-at- the -gate will be using them next week.
Oh , one of my neighbours pointed out that a white van keeps driving up and down our cul de sac. I dismissed him as the rag and bone man, but woke up today feeling paranoid about break ins. I will be perched up against The REAR WINDOW with binoculars for the rest of the day. ( one of the dangers of being off work sick and a bit bored )
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